We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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