Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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