so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
