Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
