Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
