Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
