i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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