I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
