What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
