This house was built for laser tag.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
