My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
areolas are like halos for boobs.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
