halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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