rhymes with "ouble enetration"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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