i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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