i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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