Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
