I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
