I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
