Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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