C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
