Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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