So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
