I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
