as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
