But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
