whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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