OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
