a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
