I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
