shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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