We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
