don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
