I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We need to get me chipped asap
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
