Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
