sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
