The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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