Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
