i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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