i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
