Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Vodka?
Forever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
