I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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