All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
