Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
