I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
