is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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