Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
