i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
