Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
