My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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