I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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