Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
