Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
