is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
