She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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