Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
