no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
