its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
