it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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