Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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