watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
