We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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