Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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